Sunday, October 5, 2008

Seventy-Third Battle of Falcon Heights

In the great titanic struggle between the Sarcastic Alliance and Thirty Third and a Third Coalition of Lunacy saw the forces of good and evil slam into one another at the Seventy-Third battle for the village Falcon Heights. The problem no one was sure who was good and who was evil or if they were intermixed or something else.

The Thirty Third and a Third Coalition of Lunacy under the Austrian banner of the Archduck Jack and Archduck Jimbo had the great Pasha Beybey and his Ottoman Forces and the lead elements of the Nordic Vanguard under General "Biggie" Johnson defending the village of Falcon Heights against the attack of the Sarcastic Alliance. The Sarcastic Alliance Lead by Freddie the Adequate and his left hand man Count von Zoltov commanded the Prussian Army found themselves in the field with their boastful allies with Mylord the Earl of Garfield commander of the British Army and the Self-Electorate of Hanover personally leading Hanoverian forces forward.

The Austrian forces formed the semi-rigid backbone of the Thirty-Third and a Third Coalition of Lunacy. The Archduck Jack commanded an Infantry Brigade and Heavy Cavalry Brigade while the Junior Archduck Jimbo lead a Infantry Brigade and Independent Light Cavalry Regiment. The great Pasha Beybey commanded an Infantry Brigade of six battalions of Infantry (at least that what he told the Austrians when he took thier money) and Cavalry Brigade. The lead elements of the first brigade of the Independent Swedish Army were lead by none other than General “Biggie” Johnson.

The Archducks Jack (Far) and Jimbo (Near) attempt to Focus on their Deployments. See what happens when you forget to charge batteries of your camera and are forced to use Cell-Phone Camera for pictures. Neither Side seems to focus to well.

The Prussian Army under command of the Freddie the Adequate included two Infantry Brigades and Cavalry Brigade while the Count von Zoltov commanded an Infantry Brigade, a Grenadier Brigade and Cavalry Brigade. The Self-Electorate commanded the Hanoverian Lifeguard Brigade, a Brigade of Infantry, and a Heavy Cavalry Brigade. Mylord the Earl of Garfield commanded a British Infantry Brigade, a Hessen Infantry Brigade, some Brunswickers, and a Heavy Cavalry Brigade.

Freddie the Adequate (Near), the Count von Zoltov (Middle) and the Self-Electorate (Far)

The village of Lauderdale is in the forefront, the village of Falconheights is in the Center while the villa of Rose is at the Far End of the table.

The battle started quietly enough as the Austrians Infantry under the Archduck Jack moved forward and took control of the strategic strongpoint Villa of Rose. The British on the Left flank of the Army slowed to a crawl as they attempted to evict Austrians and take control of the Villa.

The Hanoverian Self-Electorate marched his proud brigades forward into the face of a twenty gun battery of Artillery defending the Austrian Center under the Archduck Jimbo.

Ray Knapp looks on as the Hanoverian (Middle) forces surge ahead of the Sluggish Prussians (near).

The Prussian forces on the right flank marched against the washed and freshly showered masses under the great Pasha Beybey.

The Finns found themselves ignored and all alone in the village of Falcon Heights, with no other reason to they began fortifying themselves with Hasty field works; however the call of wine cellar of For the Love of Mary Catholic Church calling their names and the field works were forgotten.

The Prussian forces surge forward against the masses of the great Pasha Beybey.

Suddenly MyLord the Earl of Garfield roused himself and began the grueling task of expelling the Austrians from the villa of Rose.

MyLord the Earl of Garfield has joined the Satirical Alliance.

The Hanoverians decided to move more to the left of the Austrian Battery after losing two Regiments of the Lifeguard.

The Prussians spent the entire battle wondering why the Austrians and Russians have such a difficult time fight the Ottomans as Pasha Beybey wasn’t looking so great. Something about the British selling them Muzzle-loading blunderbusses and forgetting the powder could be heard as the Ottomans strategically redeployed themselves further to the rear.

The great Pasha Beybey (near) contemplates moving even more forward on Istanbul. George Horde and an unkown extra in the background.
The Finns being left alone went back to work on the wine cellar, it seemed like a defensible position was in the report back to the King.

In an effort to envelop the Austrians what remained of the Hanoverian Lifeguard (Hanover a country of 750,000 people and eight regiments of Life Guard. I think someone has visions of Grandeur) assaulted the outer defenses of the Second Åboläns battalion. As the Finns retreated cries of “Hubadah Yark” (Translation: Your mother married a Hungarian) could be heard. So engaged was the Lifeguard that they failed to notice that the rules state they unit must be picked up and gone were the Hanoverian Lifeguard.

Seeing how much effort the Hanoverians were going through the Count von Zoltov ordered two regiments of Grenadiers to assault the church. A Hanoverian Battalion charged the flank of an exposed Austrian Battalion which the Archduck Jimbo ordered to go too far forward.
As the Archduck Jimbo learned sometimes there needs to be a sacrificial lamb to save the bacon. The Austrians were sacrificed so that the Finns could live.

The Archduck Jimbo understanding that one of his Battalions must be sacraficed to ensure the overll victory. I am reminded of something that Great Southern General Robert E. Lee will say in about 100 years. "As soldiers we love the Army. As Generals we must sacrifice the thing we love. "

In the End the Finns held two thirds of Falcon Heights to which General “Biggie” Johnson proclaimed a Swedish victory or something like that (It all sounded like “Hoobdah Hoobdah Hoobdah” to everyone else) and then "Biggie" spent the evening wondering what those big Prussian canons were for.

Ray Knapp looking on trying hard not to be convinced that he needs to paint something for the period. Something about more Ottomans was heard.

We learned much in the Game:

  1. We need about six more battalions of Swedes/Finns
  2. The battlefield which was roughly five linear feet was about one foot to short. An additional foot to the East of Falcon heights would have changed the battle for both the Sarcastic Alliance and the Thirty-Third and a third Coalition of Lunacy.
  3. We will need some sort of marker system to mark which Brigades have been active during a turn. Fitz think we mark a brigade after it has moved I am the opposite you put a marker on when the turn starts and pull it off when you make that brigade active.
  4. Make sure the batteries in the camera are charged so we don't have to take unfocused pictures with a Cell-Phone
  5. The Ottoman optional army org is completely worthless.

The Cast in order of appearance:

  • Archduck Jack - Jack Anderson
  • Archduck Jimbo - Jimbo
  • Freddie the Adequate - Tom Zwirn
  • Count von Zoltov - Joe Zottola
  • The Self-Electorate - Jim Fitzgerald
  • MyLord Earl of Garfield - Jeff Knudsen
  • The great Pasha Beybey - Chris Combs
  • Himself - George Horde
  • Himself - Ray Knapp
  • Himself - Unknown Extra
  • Unpictured - General "Biggie" Johnson - Jeff Johnson

1 comment:

the_fitzer said...

They were Hessians!!!!!! - The Self-Elector of Hanover